The game is level based and at the start of each you’re given a blank hospital to build up how you like with a set sum of money. Part building sim, part business sim, part micromanagement – Theme Hospital blends a lot of ideas exceptionally well to create an experience that is as unique now as it ever was (particularly so on Vita) and is wholeheartedly worth revisiting, a few minor niggles aside. Aside from this, you get amusing sounds like patients straining in toilets or hairyitis patients being zapped with electricity, meaning the game always has a lot going on in the audio department. She’s shrill but says some of the funniest lines I’ve ever heard in videogames (“patients are reminded not to die in the corridors”) meaning that regardless of your tolerance, her quotes will stay with you for a long time. Sound is an interesting one – there’s no music which is a big negative for me, but even if there were any it would be drowned out by the receptionist’s voice which is something you’ll either love or hate. Personally, as I’ve played the game numerous times in the past I didn’t really have any issues getting around and placing rooms or staff, but if you’re a newcomer I can imagine it’s definitely a little offputting to get used to things and Theme Hospital offers little in the way of help aside from the odd speech bubble from your adviser. The user interface is probably the thing I’d have most criticism for – it’s a bit fussy and hard to navigate at first, aided by things like colour-coded menus but let down by a general lack of cohesion to everything. The pixel graphics might look a little blurry at times but they always get the picture across and often in a particularly humorous way. The hospital rooms have some interesting quirks too – in keeping with the larger than life feeling you’ll get everything from decontamination showers that whirr as you wash off the radiation to inflation rooms which treat Bloaty Head by literally popping the patient’s skull then re-inflating it (don’t worry, not as graphic as it sounds). Either way the areas tend to look good from the isometric viewpoint. As you slowly fill them out though they can fulfill whatever desires you want – I tended to build tight corridors of rooms to maximise efficiency, but you could equally build an open hospital to give it a light airy feel. Things like little pixel-y mouths move when they’re chatting in the GP’s office which is a nice touch and watching them fall flat on their faces during an earthquake never failed to make me laugh (with a fitting ‘splat’ sound to boot).Įach hospital you’re given is a blank slate for you to build on, so typically environments are just dull purple corridors with green grass outdoors. Doctor, Nurse etc.) and there’s only a handful of patient models, but the way they busy around the hospital about their business means you’ll rarely be staring at them for long (and allows you to easily identify them at a quick glance). Staff members all share the same sprites between their types (i.e. Hardly a looker in its day, Theme Hospital has managed to hold up over time thanks to its solid sprite-work and simple environmental design meaning it’s easy to look at today, if a little rough around the edges. It gives the game an identity and a larger than life feel that seems somewhat unmatched to this day – no other developer has quite managed to match the political incorrectness (a bank manager with dollar bills popping out of his suit), quick-fire jokes and social commentary like this since. Right from the opening cutscene of a super-doctor operating on a patient before dumping his body as the procedure goes wrong, you’ll know you’re in for a treat – this permeates through every other aspect of the game from the humorous receptionist announcements to the bonkers diseases you’ll treat such as Bloaty Head and Transparency (caused by licking foil yogurt lids). What makes Theme Hospital special to so many gamers is the world that’s constructed here – 90’s Bullfrog were absolute masters of biting satire and that’s fully present here. Aside from this, there’s really no actual story as you’re simply tasked with ensuring the profitability and reputation of each job you’re assigned. In Theme Hospital you play as a manager who oversees a stream of hospitals with the goal of working his or her way up the bureaucratic chain to earn the big money at the top.

Theme hospital receptionist